4 Years

A little girl who dreamed of fairy tale endings,

never ending stories with heroes who defeat the villains,

I thought you would storm the castle on mounted steed

Delivering true love’s kiss in time to save me.

 

The years bled by and darkness fell

clouding the dreams,

fading to nightmares,

innocence seceding to gray reality.

 

I never learned what true love looked like,

I’d never seen an unconditional bond.

I was told a man would clip my wings,

if I had dreams to guard them jealously.

 

I stopped searching, believing,

that two souls could meet and know

they found the piece of themselves they’d been missing

and their fragmented hearts were finally whole.

 

Singing at a frequency no one else could hear

I wandered through living a colorless life

my voice disappearing in the tempo of years

I almost stopped singing until your whispered reply.

 

I knew when I looked in your eyes,

our songs harmonized,

our bodies magnetized,

I’d met him who could make two one.

 

I never expected the depth of this feeling,

limitless willingness,

terrifying and freeing,

together we’re better than we’d ever be alone.

 

A man of honor in an honor less world,

you proved the grey reality’s boundaries exist.

You make me brave.

Best of all you let me forgive myself.

To the Little Boy with the Cystic Hygroma

This is your heart beat.

A slow steady rhythm marked by flickering white light.

This is the pulse of life.

An erratic fast then slow but pushing on relentlessly.

In the rush of everything, everyone, and everywhere I need to be,

I listen for the thumping in your chest

That sets my steps

And Moves me on despite the setbacks and lacking self-confidence.

I listen for the next beat with bated breath.

Keep beating though the journey is long.

Keep beating though the slog is hard.

Keep beating to guide me where I can hold you in my arms

and become the one who leads you beyond.

Coal Fired Lives

Buckets of coal,

cast iron stove,

indelibly stained

the palm of my hand.

 

Firing the blood

that runs in my veins,

the vein of descent

from coal mines.

 

Black dust lined

lung linings,

buried alive,

bulldozed remembrance.

 

Long winter nights

around the stove,

the cracking of coal

our lullaby.

To Childhood Heathens Who Grew Up

Frost rimes the trees like the Queen Anne’s Lace that grew alongside the holler roads in June,

on the hazy afternoons when we had no place to be, no ends in sight, on the winding one-lane, old paved roads where we took flight.

Bike pedals slapping shin bones when we hit the hills just right,

free descent, lungs too strained for our squeals of delight,

we have always been wild and strange

creatures who wandered the Appalachian hills but sought a broader horizon.

Still Waiting

We spoke for 62 minutes today.
We spoke while I cruised through a McDonald’s Drive-thru.
We spoke as I checked the tire pressure on my car
And complained about the sensor light coming on again.
We spoke as I ate, long pauses as I chewed.
We spoke as I perused the news.
In 62 minutes today we had to condense 24 hours of our marriage.
It was not enough.
To connect.
To be intimate.
To describe our day.
To explain what needs to be done.
To discuss our child.
To exalt over her achievements.
It can never be enough.
In 62 minutes every day for the past 300 days.
How do we stay in touch?
Phone conversations.
Video calls.
Emails.
And thousands of texts that simply say
I love you
And
Wait for me.

This Is It

We’ve been here before.
We have left the realm of the unknown.
 
This is day to day,
This is your job,
This is the commitment I understood.
 
We are so close,
I know where we go from here.
I know how to feel from here.
 
We have lived in this span of space
have reached across this arc of time
and found each other again on the other side.

The Measure of My Worth

I have reached inside my soul
and found that I am lined in gold.
It fills the cracks and fissures,
the erosion of my tears through troubled years.
It formed in veins, snaking over heart and mind
steeling them against the harsher times.
And my value cannot be seen by prying eyes
I’ve hidden away what makes it a prize.
It’s yours to take, yours to see
because you’ve always only seen the best in me.
 

Going Down in Flames

Baby, we were fire

Engulfed in each other’s sight

The tendrils of your flame

Set my soul alight.

Brittle, broken tinder

Littered my insides

A spark from you, a cinder,

caused me to ignite.

The friction building in whispers

In the velvet of deep twilight

Erupted, spewing embers,

Molten lava, melting frigid night.

Did you feel the burning?

Did it scald and scar your skin?

Can you see the marks of yearning,

the brands you left behind?

Baby, we were an inferno,

temperatures rising,

enveloping and blinding.

How did we survive it?

Two As One or the Red String Runs Taunt

He is to me the foam upon my sea
Billowing up from my depths to ride on waves
Stretching towards the beachy barriers
Pulling back to chase horizons.
He has become as flesh to my bone
Gripped by ligament, sinew, muscle
All sewn together with veins
Destruction of part forever marring the whole.
To separate us would mean to rend my soul
To divide my life’s blood from my lungs
My heart from my tongue
Told to thrive within a shriven corpse.
Physiologically whole but dissected
All the same.

Distance is a Myth and This Too Will Become a Tale Someday

Poseidon in his watery prison has loved Selene from afar, turning his tides to draw her gaze upon him.
And Selene hung upon the velvet canvas of night unable to sink into the salty waves from her lofty height blinks slowly with regret, filling her vision with the peaked foam depths.
I love you like the ocean loves the moon, the sight of her in the night sky roiling the ocean into tidal frenzies.
I love you with the eternal pattern of nature, unwavering and confident in the reassurance of return.
I love you with the eternal intent of gods and the immortal imperviousness of our souls.
I love you as I have always and will always love you, in lives since passed and lives to come, and in that space of afterlife, our Heaven ensnared in each other’s eyes.
And long before the goddess took up residence beside the empty cratered lake to stand guard over far off blue green seas and long after those seas have ebbed eternally too heavy and ancient with geological burden I have, I will, love you.